OUR STORY:

“Maybe Someday”. This was always our response to the question all couples get after marriage. “So, when are you guys gonna have a baby?” An innocent question that can pack a whole lot into its answer. So here is our answer…

My name is Dedie. Philip & I got married October 4, 2014, and from the start we knew we wanted a large family. He wanted 3, I wanted 5, so we compromised at 5. We had a plan and a vision. We both had good jobs, we were lucky to have a beautiful home, and we have 2 bedrooms that we thought we would fill with tiny feet really soon. We thought it would be easy and simple; I mean we see birth announcements almost everyday on social media. How hard can it be? (you know what I mean?) … Well, we learned really quickly that it is a lot more complicated than we assumed. Just six months into to trying to get pregnant, we knew something was wrong. I went to a doctor and started the process of hormones, testing, blood work, charting, timing, logging… it was exhausting.

After about a year to a year-and-a-half in, and countless negative pregnancy results, is when I began to lose hope and was in the middle of a deep grief. You would think that in the middle of it that I would reach out to those around me. But grief has a way of isolating us and holding us captive. Luckily I have an amazing community around me, and I serve a mighty and loving God. I began to journal my thoughts and feelings as a prayer journal. I knew from past experiences that God desires all of us, and that even means my grief. So this was not a journal of what christians should say and feel, but rather very raw and honest thoughts and emotions. God heard me in my pain, and he came and sat with me. Over time, He began working through the grief with me, and now I have a joyful peace in the sorrow. Yeah, things haven’t gone as planned, and infertility has a way of seeping into all of your relationships and causing issues and insecurities. However, God gave me a new heart, mind, and eyes to believe, know, and see that even though things didn’t go our way, God has a way, and he is always abundant in his mercies.

For a long time we sat in limbo because every test, scan, ultrasound, blood work, etc. would come back “normal”. Well if I, we, are so “normal” then what’s the issue? We couldn’t figure it out. We were stuck, and how do you work on an issue if you don’t know what the issue is. That was us for about 2 years… Anger flowed, tears flowed, and yes, bitterness flowed. One day I was google searching and came across PCOS, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, as being a large cause of infertility among women. I began looking into it, and I could relate to a lot of the symptoms of PCOS. I called my doctor and asked to get blood work done and for her to see if she thinks that I may in fact have PCOS. We got it done, I got the call, and she confirmed. Based on my history and blood work, I have PCOS. I think some people thought I would be sad over the news of being diagnosed, but I wasn’t. I won’t say I was happy, however, I was relieved. We finally have an answer and something to work towards. That was January of 2018. Since then I have been researching and looking up ways to battle the symptoms of PCOS. I still have a lot to learn, but God has been faithful in placing people and resources in my life to help me.

PURPOSE:

Long story short, here we are, 3 years into infertility and I have realized that so many couples deal with infertility. Yet, no one really talks about it. When we first started this journey, and we began to see how hard this was going to be for us, I thought ‘why us?’. This happens to nobody… but I was wrong. So many couples deal with infertility for various reasons/issues. It would have been nice to know that in the beginning, not because it would have taken the pain away, but rather to have someone share in it to lessen the burden.

Our purpose for this blog is not only an avenue for you to follow along in our journey, but to also create awareness and hopefully community. We want others to see that they aren’t alone, or maybe for others to gain understanding so they can better love and serve their friends and family dealing with infertility. There is so much to share, that I hope you follow along with us.

CONTACT & GIVING:

We appreciate any support and prayers that we are offered and have been offered. If you would like to give, here is a link to our PayPal account. If you would like to contact us, see the link or send us an email at philipanddedie@gmail.com.